So two weeks ago i started a PiYo challenge group. I have never done a challenge group, or a beachbody program, but i thought... why not? you are at your breaking point, might as well give it a try.
To start at the beginning, when i was in 7th grade i recall a bus stop conversation with the older girls. They were discussing how the one had lost weight when she realized how "fat" she was, when she broke 150 pounds. Note: i was already exceeding 150 and have never been below 150 since. So for the better part of my life, i have considered myself "fat" based on this probably meaningless conversation to the other two girls.
When i got pregnant with Myles, my 3 year old, i was at my heaviest at 198 pounds, so when i say my heart broke once i exceeded 200 and watched the scale climb, it would be an understatement. Last year, i was able to get down 6 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight, but have gained those 6 lbs back. When i weighed in a few weeks ago i was teetering on heartbreak again at 199.5. IT WAS TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE.
My life long battle with my weight has taken a toll on me, i have constant negative self talk. I obsess about my wardrobe to try to camaflouge my "curves". When i get upset i reach for a fatty snack. When i look in the mirror i recluse. The endless harmful cycle i live based on my weight is maddening. This partnered with my husbands recent talk of his "getting fat" and the fact that my son passed me when we were jogging, really lit a fire under my plump rump.
Though i am held accountable through my challenge group, i want to document my progress somewhere i can refer back to. Not only am i learning how to eat again, but i am just learning my way around a kitchen. My husband has been cooking for us for 7 years now, as i never really learned to have a healthy relationship in the kitchen.
I want to show the delicious meals we are eating and have this to revisit for when i fall off the wagon. So here we go!
